'Carrie' Review
For a gal named Carrie White, she's sure got a lot of red on her. Watching Kimberly Peirce's 'Carrie' is an odd experience. If you've seen Brian De Palma's version from 1976, this new version is - and...
View Article'Ender's Game' Review
The kids today and their video games! Well, if Gavin Hood's adaptation of Orson Scott Card's beloved sci-fi novel, 'Ender's Game,' is any indicator, the fragging youngsters of today may become the...
View Article'Thor: The Dark World' Review
Is it a Quantum Field Generator or a a Soul Forge? It's both, and that's why 'Thor: The Dark World,' like 'Thor' before it, is one of the best films that blends sci-fi and fantasy. Add the humor, star...
View Article'Delivery Man' Review
To be a heart-on-your-sleeve weepie in 2013, you've got to have some far-fetched gimmick. 'About Time' has time travel, 'Safe Haven' had ghosts and 'Delivery Man' has Vince Vaughn as an anonymous sperm...
View Article'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire' Review
When the closing credits rolled after the original 'The Hunger Games,' I thought to myself "eh, not bad." But I was in no rush to see the follow-up. When the closing credits rolled after Francis...
View Article'Oldboy' Review
You'd think that a guy trapped in a hotel room for 20 years would find a better movie to be in once he got out, right? 'Oldboy,' Spike Lee's remake of the Park Chan-wook cult film from 2003, is a...
View Article'Frozen' Review
Sometimes great artistry comes from coloring inside the lines. Walt Disney Animation's newest film, 'Frozen,' does precious little to push the boundaries of narrative storytelling. Indeed, it is a...
View Article'American Hustle' Review
There is so much hair in 'American Hustle.' Christian Bale's disastrous comb-over/rug combo basically opens the film with a wordless monologue. Beneath that unnatural mop is the sharp mind of Irving...
View Article'The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug' Review
There comes a time when we must stop kidding ourselves. These 'Hobbit' films – with 'The Desolation of Smaug' representing the shank of the trilogy – are not real movies. These are exploitation films...
View Article'Anchorman 2′ Review
There are a handful of extremely funny, laugh-out-loud moments in 'Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues.' One happens early – the reveal that David Koechner now runs a cut-rate fast-food joint that saves...
View Article'The Wolf of Wall Street' Review
'The Wolf of Wall Street,' Martin Scorsese's most dynamic and spry film since 'GoodFellas,' is an up close and personal tour of a snarling den of unchecked depravity. Really, theaters should be handing...
View Article'The Legend of Hercules' Review
In the late 1950s, American bodybuilder Steve Reeves somehow ended up in Italy and made a cheapo production of 'Hercules.' It spawned an avalanche of knockoff strongmen films -- some starring Reeves,...
View Article'The Monuments Men' Review
“They don't make 'em like that anymore!” That's what my old man always liked to say when we'd watch a black and white Hollywood classic. Sometimes he meant it as a sign of respect. Sometimes he meant...
View Article'The LEGO Movie' Review
"Everything is Awesome!" Much has been said about our recent cinema kowtowing to nerds. From the massive success of 'The Avengers' to the ill-fated sci-fi odes of 'Paul.' (Anyone remember 'Paul?') The...
View Article'The Grand Budapest Hotel' Review
Wes Anderson has finally done it. He's gone and created his own country. Zubrowka, the fictional town at the heart of 'The Grand Budapest Hotel,' is positioned on the farthest Eastern edge of Europe's...
View Article'Non Stop' Review
The opening shot of 'Non-Stop' has Liam Neeson pouring whiskey in a coffee cup and stirring it with a toothbrush. He then reaches out to a photo of a young girl to stroke it with his fingertips. After...
View Article'300: Rise of an Empire' Review
Before anything else: the sex. There is a sex scene in '300: Rise of an Empire' that is an all-timer. Put it right up there on the shelf next to 'Don't Look Now,' 'A History of Violence,' 'Blue is the...
View Article'Need For Speed' Review
There are 35,000 deaths due to motor vehicle accidents in the United States each year. Every ten seconds someone is given emergency treatment because of a car crash. According to a report by the CDC...
View Article'Noah' Review
The story of Noah as it is written in the King James Bible is about three pages. If you want to Google it, read it, then come back to this you can go ahead. I'll wait here as I continue to stream some...
View Article'Captain America: The Winter Soldier' Review
Whereas Tom Hanks' Captain Phillips talked, finessed, sweated and went into shock to rescue his crew, Chris Evans' Captain America jumps onto a hijacked boat from a helicopter without a parachute. His...
View Article'Jurassic Park 3D' Review
You can buy replicas of Richard Attenborough's amber-tipped cane or you can listen to ten minute loops of Jeff Goldblum's oddball laugh but there's something you haven't been able to do in twenty...
View Article'Scary Movie 5′ Review
My disdain of the 'Scary Movie' franchise came early. I distinctly recall seeing the 'Scary Movie 2' poster, which featured Kathleen Robertson wearing a t-shirt that says "I See Dead People." This...
View Article'Star Trek Into Darkness' Review
J.J. Abrams is going to make the greatest 'Star Wars' movie in history. With 'Star Trek Into Darkness,' Abrams' follow up to the 2009 'Star Trek' reboot (or continuation of the series, if you are Spock...
View Article'After Earth' Review
Seventeen summers ago, Will Smith gave us the catch phrase "welcome to Earth" and then punched an alien in the face. This time he's the invading alien (kinda) and his new line "this is Earth" is much...
View Article'World War Z' Review
The title is 'World War Z,' but I can think up two other letters: "O" and "K." 'World War Z' is okay because it zips along with the fury of a computer-generated cascade of fast zombies. 'World War Z'...
View Article'The Heat' Review
“She's crazy!” That's what 'Arrested Development' star Tony Hale shouts from the back of Melissa McCarthy's broken down jalopy of a police car as she goes through the motions of an uninteresting chase...
View Article'Despicable Me 2′ Review
I am not a monster. I want to be very clear and upfront about this. Yes, those little squibbling yellow marshmallows called “minions” in 'Despicable Me' and 'Despicable Me 2' are adorable. I don't care...
View Article'The Lone Ranger' Review
I loved 'Rango,' the last time Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski offered up a madcap spin on the Western. I basically enjoyed 'John Carter,' last year's Western-infused would-be space epic, which, not...
View Article'Elysium' Review
Here's one of my favorite jokes of all time. There's no punchline, it's just a sentence. "I've been rich and miserable, and I've been poor and miserable. And I'll tell ya: rich is better." I don't know...
View Article'We're the Millers' Review
'We're the Millers' is a vexing film. It's just funny enough to keep from being truly bad, but too preposterous and predictable to be anything close to good. For every laugh there's something that will...
View Article'The Grandmaster' Review
How could something that is so gorgeous also be so damn dull? Well, where there's a will, there's a Wong Kar Wai. The jazzy, experimental arthouse darling of the 1990s ('Chunking Express,' 'Fallen...
View Article'Getaway' Review
It's clear from the start that 'Getaway' is not a good movie. The opening sequence is a mess of different video stocks and flashbacks, an easy tell that a team of editors tore out their hair trying to...
View Article'Prisoners' Review
Here's a tip. If you don't want people to think you are a child molester, pick out different frames than the ones Paul Dano wears in 'Prisoners.' When neither Jake Gyllenhaal (as Detective Loki - yeah,...
View Article'Don Jon' Review
Before I write anything else about 'Don Jon': yes, there are some guys in Northern New Jersey who really do act this way. Some of the particulars are exaggerated, but not really. Whether the interior...
View Article'Captain Phillips' Review
With piracy drama 'Captain Phillips,' Paul Greengrass ('Bloody Sunday,' 'United 93') has defended his ground as the go-to man for tragic, reality-based pressure-cooker films. The dude really knows how...
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